He's got Daddy's Nose

How much of your child's personality is inborn and how much is influenced by his surroundings? I love the discussion that Toddlerwise has on the classic "Nature v. Nurture" debate. Drs. Ezzo and Bucknam point out that a child's personality is influenced by three factors: heredity, environment, and the child's choices.

Heredity factors come in two forms: the fixed and the flexible. Fixed traits are things like Daddy's nose and Mommy's need for lots of sleep. Flexible traits are things like a gift with music or numbers or a natural shyness. These flexible traits can be encouraged or discouraged through environment.

The child's choices play a role even from the beginning. Will he choose to surrender to sleep easily or will he choose to cry in protest? Will he choose to cry for Dad to push that toy closer or will he try to scoot over to it? As a child's abilities grow, so will the array of choices he has. The more he chooses to obey, the more ingrained obedience becomes. As he chooses to hold back from new experiences, shyness is reinforced.

Environmental factors include the training the child receives. Parents determine this entirely. A child won't develop moral traits like kindness, perseverance, and justice unless we teach him. Oh, what immense influence we parents have on who our children will become! As our son grows more aware of his surroundings, I am motivated to be a better person because I am his example of how life should be lived. Yet, good training is deeper than just being an example to our kids. We must structure their lives in a way that encourages good traits and discourages bad ones.

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