Earned Freedoms

Have you ever been tempted to give your baby a pen to play with just because it's close at hand? Or how about the remote? Isn't it cute to see it in his little pudgy hands? Perhaps we parents of young children should rethink giving privileges our little ones aren't ready for yet.

I love how Babywise II presents this concept. They call it "parenting in the funnel." The idea is that as a child grows, the "funnel" of freedoms he has earned should grow as well. As an example, independent playtime begins in the playpen, and then moves to his room when the child has gained the maturity to handle that freedom.

Another place to practice this concept (one we're working on right now with our 6 month old), is the highchair. Rather than giving him the spoon or letting him help get those pureed foods in his mouth with his hands, we tell him to put his hands on the sides of the tray. He hasn't earned utensils yet. That's OK. He's not bad or anything. He's just learning -- and mastering the mouth part of eating is enough of a skill for now.

There is a philosophy of child-rearing that suggests letting your children lead at every turn. Allowing them to wander the house looking for amusement might sound like you'd be giving them opportunities to develop, but they're likely to run into trouble with too many freedoms. God gave parents authority because children aren't ready to handle it yet. Let's let them thrive in this great big world by helping them explore it as they become ready.

RESOURCES

Babywise II