In Bringing Up Boys, Dr. Dobson points out that the way many parents behave at their kids sporting events makes it hard for the coaches to instill good sportsmanship in their young charges. But shouldn't parents be the ones setting the best models for their kids? For good or ill, parents are the models that will be followed.
Though Mr. Harley focuses on the relationship between husband and wife in his book Mom's Needs, Dad's Needs, he makes a crucial point about parental modeling as well. If parents cannot learn to be thoughtful of one another, their kids won't learn to be thoughtful of others either. We can bless our children with good marital instincts by modeling kindness. We can also set them up to succeed in life, as kind and thoughtful people are generally better liked and more successful than selfish people.
So how does Mr. Harley suggest developing thoughtfulness in our marriages? It's an interesting idea called "The Policy of Joint Agreement." He says that husbands and wives shouldn't do anything unless they both agree enthusiastically about it. Seeking your partner's enthusiastic agreement means kind persuasion and negotiation rather than selfishness and demands. It doesn't come naturally to most of us, but setting a good example can make kindness much more natural to our children. What a gift to give them!
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