The First 5 Minutes

Have you ever decided you didn't like someone after only listening to them for a few minutes? Or decided that a speech would be great after listening to just the opening illustration? Dr. Dobson points out on pg 218 of Bringing Up Boys, the first five minutes of any interaction set the tone. They are vitally important.

That means when you greet your children in the morning, you have an opportunity to start a great day, or a rough one. By being cheerful and talking about all of the wonderful things that will be going on that day, you set your kids up to enjoy life. If you're grumpy in the morning, they're likely to be grumpy all day.

This is true even for babies who don't understand every word you say. Studies have shown that babies with depressed mothers don't smile as often. They can pick up on your mood even if they don't follow all the words. The nice part about the "first 5 minutes" rule with babies is that it starts over more often! After every nap, I have a fresh opportunity for a good morning, afternoon, or evening.

Another place where starting out on the right foot can pay dividends is when my husband comes home from work. I can start out with cheery "How was your day?" and a kiss or with "Woe is me! Things went so poorly for me!" or an evening to-do list. Different husbands probably want different things when they walk in the door, but the key is to make those first 5 minutes positive ones. Of course this can go both ways when it comes to the husband and wife. Husbands can come home with compassion and interest for their wives' day as well.

It takes some effort to make a good day happen, so why not focus that effort where you get the most mileage out of it?

RESOURCES

Bringing Up Boys