Sleep Training without CIO

"How can I get Baby to sleep in his own crib?" This question is vitally important to sleep-deprived parents. The most common answers can be divided into two, rather unpleasant, groups. The first group answers "You can't; just wait until he does it on his own." The second group answers "Just leave him there to Cry-It-Out (CIO) and eventually he'll be able to fall asleep on his own." For parents looking for a middle ground, there's the method advocated in the Baby Whisperer books.

No matter Baby's age, begin with a nice, predictable sleepy-time routine. I like to tell my son the rooms we're going through as we make our way to the nursery. Then when we get there, we sit in the rocking chair and look out the window while I sing him a song. Next I wrap him up in his blankets, give him a kiss, and head out. Sometimes that's all it takes, but if Baby's a little fussy or cries when you set him in his crib, try these age-appropriate techniques:

Birth to 3 Months - Shush-Pat

At this age, babies can't concentrate on more than 2 things at once, so by giving the right kind of soothing, you can help Baby forget about crying. Don't jiggle or rock Baby, but say "shh shh shh" gently in his ear while rhythmically patting his back. You can first attempt this while Baby is in the crib. If that doesn't calm him, pick him up (while still shush-patting) until you sense his breathing getting deeper. Then gently lay him in his crib and continue the shush-pat. Ms. Hogg recommends continuing the shush-pat until you're certain Baby is concentrating on it (7-10 minutes). Then you can slow the patting and gradually stop. When he's quiet, step away from the crib and see whether he drifts off to a deep sleep or jostles awake again. It often takes babies up to 20 minutes to fall asleep so if you stay until he's out you'll be less likely to have to return.

4 to 12 Months - Pick-Up-Put-Down

You can begin by simply being present with your child, putting a hand on his back and possibly offering some words of comfort like "It's OK, honey. You're just going to sleep." If he continues to cry, pick him up, but put him down the minute he stops crying. Don't comfort past the immediate need. If he cries on the way down, still return him to the mattress. Then if he cries again or continues to cry, pick him back up. Continue this until Baby is able to stay calm and fall asleep in his own crib.

On average, Ms. Hogg reports that pick-up-put-down lasts 20 minutes, but it can go on for an hour or more. Teaching the skill of sleep to an older baby will take work. Don't give up and revert to rocking him to sleep or using other props. It will most likely take less time the next night and the next after that. Keep with it and you will probably have a child who can go to sleep on his own within a week.

Teaching a child to sleep can be very stressful no matter what method you choose. Ms. Hogg's method is gentler than CIO but still promises to give parents back their own bed. It offers a good middle-of-the-road approach for parents looking to kindly give their children (and themselves!) sleep.

RESOURCES

The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems