Evenings With Baby

After a long day at the office or taking care of the kiddies, wouldn't you love a peaceful evening? Well if there's a baby in the house, he's likely to sabotage those plans. The challenges change as Baby grows, but evenings are often when problems crop up. Why? What can you do? Well, here's what we've experienced:

Birth to 3 months:

Why is it tough? Many babies, including ours, seem to have a "witching hour" sometime between 4 and 9 pm. No one seems to know why, but it's a relatively common experience. Our son just needed to cry for about 45-60 minutes some (but not all) evenings no matter what we did!

What helps? As an emotional new mommy, it helped just to know that infant crying peaks at 6 weeks and is greatly reduced by 3 months. We tried holding and rocking him just to be with him during his tears. If it was just too much for us to handle, we did let him cry in his crib sometimes. Babywise does say that there's a chance Baby would fall asleep there. Yet, I didn't like to leave him to cry for too long. This is also a time when putting Junior near a dryer or dishwasher that's running can help. Some people find stroller or car rides beneficial. Just be careful not to make those into sleep crutches by using them every time or after Baby needs them.

4-6 Months

Why is it tough? If you've got Junior on the feeding routine recommended in either Babywise
or Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, you are looking to transition from 5 to 4 liquid feedings. For us, there was a feeding at 5pm and then another at 8pm that we wanted to consolidate into one at bedtime. It seemed like it would take Baby a long time to fall asleep for his 4th nap and then it would be time to get him up again. We could have kept him up, but he was awfully grouchy and tired.

What helps? I found that by cutting our son's third nap shorter, we could make bedtime earlier after his 5pm feeding. Then the 8pm feeding was more of a "dreamfeed" (a technique described in great detail in Secrets of the Baby Whisperer). I kept the lights low and just nursed him and put him back to sleep. That got Junior both the sleep and the calories he needed.

7-10 Months

Why is it tough? This is the season of "does he need the third nap?" Some babies drop the evening nap at 6 months, but others not until 10 or even 12. Deciding what is best for your baby's sleep needs and also trying to have a life sometimes in the evening can be a challenge.

What helps? We are in this phase right now. I think it's alright to vary the evening schedule a bit depending on Baby's day as well as your plans. Earlier this weekend, we cut our son's afternoon nap short so that he would take an evening nap that allowed us to keep him up a little later for a friend's wedding. Then after church on Sunday, since his morning nap was cut short, we let him take the giant 3 1/2 hour afternoon nap that his body wanted and simply moved bedtime earlier. Studies have shown that afternoon sleep is the most restorative so that worked well for him.

Beyond our current stage, I'm sure there will continue to be challenges in the evening. It's wonderful to have my husband around to bounce ideas off of and share baby duty with during these hours. In the midst of baby tears or nap questions, it's also wise to stop and make a memory. Like the song says "you're gonna miss this!"

RESOURCES

Babywise
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer