"Adult children of workaholics [and probably perfectionists too] often end up in therapy with failing marriages, depression or a sense of anger they can't identify. At the heart of their troubles is a well meaning but absent parent who unconsciously taught them that you are judged by what you do, not who you are." (Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids, p 106)
I know that the attitudes I portray in my own life will wordlessly communicate to my kids. I want to be better so that they won't struggle with the same things I struggle with. I definitely don't want to teach my son that he has to "measure up" in order to be loved! I want him to know that he is highly valuable simply because he is an eternal soul created in the image of God. That means I have to really accept that truth about myself too.
It's OK if dinner was a little late or the baby's nap was shorter than I had hoped. Those things aren't what make me valuable as a mother or as a person. Even when I do everything "perfect" according to my own standards, I know that my own "righteousness is like filthy rags" (Isaiah 64:6) when it comes to God's even higher standards. Jesus' perfect life and substitutionary death are what attain perfection for me. That sweet truth is what I want to teach my son!
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