2009-10-09

Pacifier Protocol

Most every new parent is faced with the question of whether to offer his new baby a pacifier. No one really wants the child who, at age three, pulls the plug out to say "hello" and then puts it back. And yet, it is amazing how offering a young infant something to suck on brings instant relief from crying and calms Baby down. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer highlights the fine line between pacifier use and misuse.

The correct way to use a pacifier, according to Ms. Hogg, is to offer it during the first three months when Baby needs to calm down. Even when Baby is going to sleep, this can be acceptable.

The way to keep the pacifier from becoming a sleep prop is to leave it alone when Baby spits it out naturally on his way to dreamland. If parents come in and replace it after Junior has spit it out, he'll get so used to the sensation in his mouth that he won't be able to get to sleep or stay asleep without it.

Another appropriate use of the pacifier is when dropping the middle-of-the-night feedings. If Junior is waking always at the same hour and is over 12 lbs and 3 months, he is likely waking from habit. One way to stop this rather frustrating habit is to offer a pacifier rather than nursing. After a few nights of this, Junior will likely stop waking up at all.

By three months of age, Baby shouldn't need the pacifier anymore as he will have found his fingers. Hogg suggests that parents need not worry about inappropriate thumb sucking. When a baby finds his thumb, he takes a great leap forward in his ability to self-soothe. Whereas the pacifier offered comfort, it was controlled by the big people and could be lost. The thumb is in the child's control.

In order to avoid inappropriate dependence on thumb sucking, however, Babywise suggests parents pull it out gently during play time and say "not now" after 6 months of age. The thumb is a fine source of comfort at bedtime, but isn't needed during waketime.

Sucking is a natural thing that babies simply do, even when parents attempt to stop them. Beginning in the womb, babies often suck their thumbs. As we seek to teach our children appropriate social behaviors, let's also leave them room to be the babies they are. Like so many parts of parenting, the pacifier issue is one in which balance is the key.

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