Keeping Marriage First

A strong and loving marriage is the foundation of a strong and loving family.  Yet, each little bundle of joy that arrives brings more busyness which can tend to pull Mom and Dad in opposite directions.  While we love our son, my husband and I know that we must protect our love for each other as well.  Here are three things we do to put our marriage first:

1.  Date Night - My in-laws are wonderful!  They come over every Thursday evening to watch our son while my husband and I go out.  Every other week we go to Bible Study together.  This gives us some interesting fodder for conversation and helps us maintain our identity apart from being a Mom and Dad.  On the off weeks, we go out on a date.  It's nice to go someplace without having to worry about the car seat and stroller and upcoming nap time.  We can enjoy each other and be carefree.

2.  Couch Time - When my husband comes home from work, he gives me 10 or 15 minutes with him.  This is time when Junior plays on the floor and we sit on the couch reconnecting about our day.  Our son knows he can have some special "Daddy time" afterwards.  It's a good visual reminder for us all that the marriage comes first.

3.  Praying Together - After our son is in bed and everything is taken care of for the day, before we go to sleep, my husband and I set aside a half hour to talk and pray together.  It is a sweet way to end the day.  We have found that it takes discipline to set the time when the "day" ends so that we can have that time together without getting to bed too late.

When children come along, it can be tempting to surrender to the "tyranny of the urgent" and forget what's most important.  My husband doesn't usually cry for my attention, but he needs it.  I need our time together too.  Even our son needs us to have it.  The home is a more joyful and peaceful place when we take the time to remind ourselves how sweet it all is.

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