Before becoming a mother, my labor was seen and appreciated. I taught in front of a classroom full of students who often appreciated the lessons, was paid regularly, and even observed and evaluated by my employer. I had specialized knowledge of the subjects I taught and was respected both for the knowledge and for communicating it well. It was very satisfying to drive home at the end of the day feeling that I had done well.
As a mother, my labor is hidden. My husband sees some of it, and a few close friends and family members, but I am much more aware that my primary audience is God. He sees each hard won triumph and ugly failure. There is no pretense, no fancy work-suit, only the truth of my labor and my heart laid bare before Him who has always seen.
I am not a perfect mother, and he knows it! He is my strength when I am week if only I will run to him. He rewards my hard work sometimes with sweet moments of obedient, joyful children; and sometimes with the creation of yet another unexpected mess. He is pushing me to maturity sometimes gently, and sometimes firmly. Oh how I want to learn my lessons well! How much depends on that! While others may not see and my pride is burned off in that, my children will carry a burden or blessing from how I handle them during our many hours at home together.
I so want to see my husband happy in the peaceful home that he arrives at after a hard day of work. I so want to be a "crown" to him rather than a "constant dripping" as I tell him of my day. I so want to see my children grow in character and go on to live useful, honorable lives walking with the Lord. What a vision to be praying and working towards!
I am so thankful for the 'monistary' of motherhood, where God is providing the rich soil of challenges for me to grow in without the opportunity to garner accolades which are their own reward. I thank Him also for the lack of 'adult conversation,' which affords me many opportunities to pray. Thank you, God, for the many secrets of motherhood!
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