David's been trying out his walking feet lately... but he's still got a way to go...
But the old standard of getting around, army crawling, is awfully cute so I'm in no hurry for a walker to chase around!
2010-01-29
Walking Is Hard to Do!
David's been trying out his walking feet lately... but he's still got a way to go...
2010-01-26
Momma is a Teacher
This is true for my little boy twice over. He heard plenty of teaching in utero as he came along to the high school Spanish classes I taught. Now, as he is growing, he is seeing the teacher side of Momma more and more. Among other things, I teach him to fall asleep on his own, keep his hands off the electrical cords, use the potty, and brush his teeth. What do you teach your children?
It's an important question to consider as Baby approaches toddlerhood. What do you want to teach him? I am a much better mother when I keep in mind my long and short term goals. To get you thinking, here are just a few of the goals I am implementing with my 11-month-old:
Goal: Play Independently
Implementation: After breakfast each day, Junior knows he'll have 30-45 minutes of entertaining himself. I put him in his play-pen or a very small room that we have baby-proofed with the music on and some toys and books to play with. I say "have fun" and leave him to entertain himself for a while. We started with much shorter amounts of time when he was younger and have gradually worked up to this length. I'm glad to have a baby who doesn't whine to be entertained by me all the time and who is learning how to amuse himself.
Goal: Drink from a Sippy Cup
Implementation: After his morning nap and before lunch, I sit Baby on my knee and help him explore his sippy cup a bit. He likes to study it and take intermittent sips. According to The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, it can take up to a month for babies to master the art of sippy cup drinking. We haven't been at it that long, so I am patiently teaching.
Goal: Play well with others
Implementation: About once a week, we go to the library and spend some time in the play area with the kids who happen to be there. I sit near my son and if he takes someones' toy or behaves inappropriately, I tell him "no." He also periodically gets to play with his cousins ages 8 mo., 2 yrs, and 4 yrs. Again, I am there to supervise. For now, he doesn't play without parental supervision as we don't think he's quite ready for that freedom.
Goal: Enjoy music
Implementation: At nap time and bed time, I hold my son and sing "Amazing Grace." He knows that song means sleep is coming soon, and it often brings on a yawn. While he plays alone, I put on classical music. When I go get him after "independent playtime," we dance around the room to that music. A few times a week, I play the piano while he plays in the same room. After a few songs, I hold him on my lap and let him explore the keys too.
Goal: Be bilingual
Implementation: During the weekdays while my husband is at work, I speak Spanish with our son. When Daddy is home, it's English time. This means that Junior hears many of the same things ("time to change your diaper," "Don't touch!," "I love you" etc.) in both languages on a daily basis. It's exciting to begin to see how he responds and understands to both languages now.
Without even trying, the home becomes a classroom to a growing baby. Every parent will have different strength and skills that they want to emphasize and teach. I am so thankful for the fine arts of conversation and friendship that my Mom modeled and taught. I want to make it easy for my son to learn my strengths and hard to pick up my weaknesses. One way to do that is to think through my goals in parenting and be intentional about what I teach him.
RESOURCES
The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood
Babywise II: Parenting Your Pretoddler (5 to 15 Months)
On Becoming Toddlerwise
It's an important question to consider as Baby approaches toddlerhood. What do you want to teach him? I am a much better mother when I keep in mind my long and short term goals. To get you thinking, here are just a few of the goals I am implementing with my 11-month-old:
Goal: Play Independently
Implementation: After breakfast each day, Junior knows he'll have 30-45 minutes of entertaining himself. I put him in his play-pen or a very small room that we have baby-proofed with the music on and some toys and books to play with. I say "have fun" and leave him to entertain himself for a while. We started with much shorter amounts of time when he was younger and have gradually worked up to this length. I'm glad to have a baby who doesn't whine to be entertained by me all the time and who is learning how to amuse himself.
Goal: Drink from a Sippy Cup
Implementation: After his morning nap and before lunch, I sit Baby on my knee and help him explore his sippy cup a bit. He likes to study it and take intermittent sips. According to The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, it can take up to a month for babies to master the art of sippy cup drinking. We haven't been at it that long, so I am patiently teaching.
Goal: Play well with others
Implementation: About once a week, we go to the library and spend some time in the play area with the kids who happen to be there. I sit near my son and if he takes someones' toy or behaves inappropriately, I tell him "no." He also periodically gets to play with his cousins ages 8 mo., 2 yrs, and 4 yrs. Again, I am there to supervise. For now, he doesn't play without parental supervision as we don't think he's quite ready for that freedom.
Goal: Enjoy music
Implementation: At nap time and bed time, I hold my son and sing "Amazing Grace." He knows that song means sleep is coming soon, and it often brings on a yawn. While he plays alone, I put on classical music. When I go get him after "independent playtime," we dance around the room to that music. A few times a week, I play the piano while he plays in the same room. After a few songs, I hold him on my lap and let him explore the keys too.
Goal: Be bilingual
Implementation: During the weekdays while my husband is at work, I speak Spanish with our son. When Daddy is home, it's English time. This means that Junior hears many of the same things ("time to change your diaper," "Don't touch!," "I love you" etc.) in both languages on a daily basis. It's exciting to begin to see how he responds and understands to both languages now.
Without even trying, the home becomes a classroom to a growing baby. Every parent will have different strength and skills that they want to emphasize and teach. I am so thankful for the fine arts of conversation and friendship that my Mom modeled and taught. I want to make it easy for my son to learn my strengths and hard to pick up my weaknesses. One way to do that is to think through my goals in parenting and be intentional about what I teach him.
RESOURCES
The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood
Babywise II: Parenting Your Pretoddler (5 to 15 Months)
On Becoming Toddlerwise
2010-01-21
Surfing the Sleep Wave
Good sleep is a lot like surfing. Really. Several biological rhythms work together to help us (and our babies!) fall asleep. There are rising and falling temperatures, as well as melatonin and cortisol level cycles. We want to catch the rising "sleep wave" before it begins to crash into a fussy, overtired baby.
According to Dr. Weissbluth in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
, when we time our childrens' naps and night sleep when all three of these cycles are at the right point, good quality sleep will come easily. This is when the child is beginning to lose steam, but before he catches his "second wind."
I had a recent experience that illustrates the most common problem parents have with riding the "sleep wave" very clearly. Our 10-month-old son is getting more active and alert and toddler-like all the time. That means that he can handle longer times of wakefulness before he needs a nap. I, however, made the classic mistake of pushing the naps back too far.
At first, he seemed able to cope quite well. He was still napping about 1.5 hours twice a day and sleeping nearly 12 hours at night. This was less sleep than before, but I figured he was growing up. But over the course of a week or two, he became fussier and more "wound up" at naptime. It took him longer to fall asleep and his naps became far too short. This is not fun for mom or baby, let me tell you!
So yesterday, as I was reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" it dawned on me that I had created this problem. But adding just a little too much wake time, I had robbed my sleepy boy of his much-needed rest. So I moved up his afternoon nap by an hour and he took a gigantic 3.5 hour nap. He must have had a lot of catching up to do!
Today we are back to slightly earlier nap times and so far, pretty solid sleep. Maybe I'll surf the nap wave myself...
RESOURCES
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
According to Dr. Weissbluth in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
, when we time our childrens' naps and night sleep when all three of these cycles are at the right point, good quality sleep will come easily. This is when the child is beginning to lose steam, but before he catches his "second wind."I had a recent experience that illustrates the most common problem parents have with riding the "sleep wave" very clearly. Our 10-month-old son is getting more active and alert and toddler-like all the time. That means that he can handle longer times of wakefulness before he needs a nap. I, however, made the classic mistake of pushing the naps back too far.
At first, he seemed able to cope quite well. He was still napping about 1.5 hours twice a day and sleeping nearly 12 hours at night. This was less sleep than before, but I figured he was growing up. But over the course of a week or two, he became fussier and more "wound up" at naptime. It took him longer to fall asleep and his naps became far too short. This is not fun for mom or baby, let me tell you!
So yesterday, as I was reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" it dawned on me that I had created this problem. But adding just a little too much wake time, I had robbed my sleepy boy of his much-needed rest. So I moved up his afternoon nap by an hour and he took a gigantic 3.5 hour nap. He must have had a lot of catching up to do!
Today we are back to slightly earlier nap times and so far, pretty solid sleep. Maybe I'll surf the nap wave myself...
RESOURCES
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
2010-01-19
Well Rested ... Parents?
You know that Junior can only handle so much action before it's time for a nap. Whether it's too many errands or too late of a nap, nobody likes to see a preschooler who's at the "end of his rope." Yet, many of us parents let ourselves get drained on sleep.
Why? Well, we live in a busy world where we're pushed to "keep up with the Jonses'" activity level. There are so many activities to do and TV shows to watch and websites to keep up on.... and then along comes a baby. At first he's up several times at night to eat, but even when he settles in for some good solid nights of sleep, all that baby care we've done during the day means postponing our "me time" and "us time" until after he's in bed. It can all add up to a late night for Mom and Dad.
What's the problem with that? Well most little ones are up with the sun, and that means Mom and Dad are too, whether they got enough sleep or not... and studies show most of us don't get enough. Sleep deprived parents are low on patience, focus, and cheerfulness. That means parenting becomes a chore that we're really not doing as well as we could. If parenting isn't fun almost all of the time, Dr. Wilkoff says that either parents or children or both probably aren't getting enough rest.
My husband and I have been under the whether these past few days and that gives me a newfound appreciation for the rest and energy I normally get. We haven't slept really well and that's rough on family life. Playing with Baby isn't as fun. It's also harder to make good judgments about proactively enforcing discipline when we're tired.
What's the answer? I'm happy to say we already do what Dr. Wilkoff recommends in Is My Child Overtired?
We get Junior in bed by 7 and then are asleep by 9 or 10 ourselves. This allows us time alone together to refresh our marriage and plenty of time to sleep as well. The "run down" feeling we have right now is thankfully temporary.
RESOURCES
Is My Child Overtired?: The Sleep Solution for Raising Happier, Healthier Children
On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant The Gift of Nighttime Sleep
Why? Well, we live in a busy world where we're pushed to "keep up with the Jonses'" activity level. There are so many activities to do and TV shows to watch and websites to keep up on.... and then along comes a baby. At first he's up several times at night to eat, but even when he settles in for some good solid nights of sleep, all that baby care we've done during the day means postponing our "me time" and "us time" until after he's in bed. It can all add up to a late night for Mom and Dad.
What's the problem with that? Well most little ones are up with the sun, and that means Mom and Dad are too, whether they got enough sleep or not... and studies show most of us don't get enough. Sleep deprived parents are low on patience, focus, and cheerfulness. That means parenting becomes a chore that we're really not doing as well as we could. If parenting isn't fun almost all of the time, Dr. Wilkoff says that either parents or children or both probably aren't getting enough rest.
My husband and I have been under the whether these past few days and that gives me a newfound appreciation for the rest and energy I normally get. We haven't slept really well and that's rough on family life. Playing with Baby isn't as fun. It's also harder to make good judgments about proactively enforcing discipline when we're tired.
What's the answer? I'm happy to say we already do what Dr. Wilkoff recommends in Is My Child Overtired?
We get Junior in bed by 7 and then are asleep by 9 or 10 ourselves. This allows us time alone together to refresh our marriage and plenty of time to sleep as well. The "run down" feeling we have right now is thankfully temporary.RESOURCES
Is My Child Overtired?: The Sleep Solution for Raising Happier, Healthier Children
On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant The Gift of Nighttime Sleep
2010-01-18
Party Time!
Surprise! I turned 27 last weekend and Lucas organized a surprise party for me. I mildly suspicious when I was told I "really ought to go grocery shopping around 10 on Saturday" ... and then I came home to streamers, friends and family, presents, love, and cake! (Plus someone else put all the groceries away) Yay!
Here's Big David (aka Grandpa Gifford) and Little David watching all the action:
Here's my college friend Bethany and I eating cake. Lucas' Aunt Rita made a cake shaped like a cat in memory of my Mom's fancy birthday cake effort on my 4th birthday. Yummy :)
Here's Big David (aka Grandpa Gifford) and Little David watching all the action:
Here's my college friend Bethany and I eating cake. Lucas' Aunt Rita made a cake shaped like a cat in memory of my Mom's fancy birthday cake effort on my 4th birthday. Yummy :)
And here are my nieces Haddie and Sierra enjoying theirs. They had a good time helping me blow out candles and having a great big audience for all their cuteness:
And David and his cousin Brooklyn had fun being curious about each other:
What Linus Really Needed
I never really contemplated Linus much until I read Dr. Wilkoff's book Is My Child Overtired? in which he explains this little boy in details that ring very true to my "mommy instincts." It's pretty simple really: He needs a nap.
In fact, if we parents aren't careful with how our little ones are allowed to use their blankies or other security objects, they could end up like Linus: napless too soon. Here's how Dr. Wilkoff recommends security objects should be used:
-It lives in the bed. When a child wants his security object, it is usually a sign that he is tired and needs to rest. If the object lives in the bed, he will form the association between that tired I-want-my-blankie feeling and his bed, where he sleeps.
-He can have it whenever he wants. So if he got hurt or disappointed and wants the comfort, it's still available. He's just got to hang out on his bed for a while.
-Take it with you when you expect him to sleep away from home. A long car ride or overnight at Grandma's are great exceptions to the "it lives in the bed" rule.
-Take it with you to traumatic places. If your baby needs to have a shot, it's not a bad idea to bring along the comforting blankie, but keep it hidden away in his diaper bag until he needs it.
When kids are allowed to carry their security objects everywhere with them, they are likely to give up their naps early. The child's desire for his security object is a sign for parents that their child is tired. It's also a great tool in meeting your child's sleep need.
RESOURCES
Is My Child Overtired?: The Sleep Solution for Raising Happier, Healthier Children
in which he explains this little boy in details that ring very true to my "mommy instincts." It's pretty simple really: He needs a nap.In fact, if we parents aren't careful with how our little ones are allowed to use their blankies or other security objects, they could end up like Linus: napless too soon. Here's how Dr. Wilkoff recommends security objects should be used:
-It lives in the bed. When a child wants his security object, it is usually a sign that he is tired and needs to rest. If the object lives in the bed, he will form the association between that tired I-want-my-blankie feeling and his bed, where he sleeps.
-He can have it whenever he wants. So if he got hurt or disappointed and wants the comfort, it's still available. He's just got to hang out on his bed for a while.
-Take it with you when you expect him to sleep away from home. A long car ride or overnight at Grandma's are great exceptions to the "it lives in the bed" rule.
-Take it with you to traumatic places. If your baby needs to have a shot, it's not a bad idea to bring along the comforting blankie, but keep it hidden away in his diaper bag until he needs it.
When kids are allowed to carry their security objects everywhere with them, they are likely to give up their naps early. The child's desire for his security object is a sign for parents that their child is tired. It's also a great tool in meeting your child's sleep need.
RESOURCES
Is My Child Overtired?: The Sleep Solution for Raising Happier, Healthier Children
2010-01-13
Better to Give than to Receive
"Ah, blissful marriage... It will meet all my needs!" What single person doesn't believe this just a little bit?
And yet, when the cloud of rice and toule clears, that new spouse wants his needs met too. At first cleaning up after him or scraping off her car in the winter is a joy, but it has a tendency to start feeling like work after a while.
So how do we keep the bliss in marriage? In my immense experience (a year and a half of marriage) I've found that I have to remind myself to take joy in giving.
When I sweep the floors or fold laundry or care for our son while my husband goes on a fun ski trip, I like to think of it as a little gift I'm giving him. When I add a special touch to the lunch I pack for him or do a task that's usually his domain, I get a little thrill thinking about the happy surprise he'll get.
These little gifts to my husband have a way of coming back to me multiplied. He's so glad to have someone who relishes caring for him that he starts thinking of ways to give me little happy surprises, and I end up with a husband who's happy to provide for us, a nap while he cares for our son or flowers when he gets home from work. Talk about marital bliss!
RESOURCES
The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
And yet, when the cloud of rice and toule clears, that new spouse wants his needs met too. At first cleaning up after him or scraping off her car in the winter is a joy, but it has a tendency to start feeling like work after a while.
So how do we keep the bliss in marriage? In my immense experience (a year and a half of marriage) I've found that I have to remind myself to take joy in giving.
When I sweep the floors or fold laundry or care for our son while my husband goes on a fun ski trip, I like to think of it as a little gift I'm giving him. When I add a special touch to the lunch I pack for him or do a task that's usually his domain, I get a little thrill thinking about the happy surprise he'll get.
These little gifts to my husband have a way of coming back to me multiplied. He's so glad to have someone who relishes caring for him that he starts thinking of ways to give me little happy surprises, and I end up with a husband who's happy to provide for us, a nap while he cares for our son or flowers when he gets home from work. Talk about marital bliss!
RESOURCES
The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
2010-01-11
Parenting: A Two-Person Job
I love how excited our son gets when he sees me walk in the room. He waves his arms excitedly, squeals, and gives me a big smile. I love being his favorite person!
But I'm so glad I'm not his only caregiver. God gives babies to a Mommy and a Daddy for good reason! Daddy is a valuable asset to the parenting team in many ways. Here are some of my favorites:
1. Fresh Eyes: When my husband comes home from work, he is tired out from the world of adults. He sees the value of our home life and the cuteness of our son sometimes more clearly than I do by virtue of that comparison.
2. Fresh Arms: While our son has always been a pretty easy baby, it can be fatiguing to be forever "on duty." It is good for me to be able to leave Baby's care to my husband for a little bit so that I can go for a walk or go out with my girlfriends once in a while. Even if I don't really go anywhere, it's good to relax sometimes and let him have "baby duty" periodically. That helps me remember who I am outside of being in charge of the home front. We all need to be "off duty" sometimes... and it's nice to leave our son in arms I trust so implicitly!
3. Rough Play: My husband and I both love our son, but we show that love in different ways. I tend to play more gently and verbally with him; telling him how cute he is and singing and making funny noises. My husband, on the other hand, loves to tickle, toss, and wrestle. Both types of play and love are great for our son.
4. Raising the Bar: My husband also tends to persevere a little longer than I do on issues of training. I get tired of trying to get him to drink from his sippy cup or eat his vegetables or keep away from the computer cord sooner than my husband. Sometimes Junior really needs the extra push his Daddy provides.
I love being a Momma and I think there's great value to my job, but my husband does a great job as a Daddy too. Little ones take a lot of energy, both physical and emotional. It is so nice to share the work and joy of parenthood!
RESOURCES
Moms Needs, Dads Needs
But I'm so glad I'm not his only caregiver. God gives babies to a Mommy and a Daddy for good reason! Daddy is a valuable asset to the parenting team in many ways. Here are some of my favorites:
1. Fresh Eyes: When my husband comes home from work, he is tired out from the world of adults. He sees the value of our home life and the cuteness of our son sometimes more clearly than I do by virtue of that comparison.
2. Fresh Arms: While our son has always been a pretty easy baby, it can be fatiguing to be forever "on duty." It is good for me to be able to leave Baby's care to my husband for a little bit so that I can go for a walk or go out with my girlfriends once in a while. Even if I don't really go anywhere, it's good to relax sometimes and let him have "baby duty" periodically. That helps me remember who I am outside of being in charge of the home front. We all need to be "off duty" sometimes... and it's nice to leave our son in arms I trust so implicitly!
3. Rough Play: My husband and I both love our son, but we show that love in different ways. I tend to play more gently and verbally with him; telling him how cute he is and singing and making funny noises. My husband, on the other hand, loves to tickle, toss, and wrestle. Both types of play and love are great for our son.
4. Raising the Bar: My husband also tends to persevere a little longer than I do on issues of training. I get tired of trying to get him to drink from his sippy cup or eat his vegetables or keep away from the computer cord sooner than my husband. Sometimes Junior really needs the extra push his Daddy provides.
I love being a Momma and I think there's great value to my job, but my husband does a great job as a Daddy too. Little ones take a lot of energy, both physical and emotional. It is so nice to share the work and joy of parenthood!
RESOURCES
Moms Needs, Dads Needs
2010-01-06
No More Dirty Diapers!
Yuck! Dirty diapers! What parent doesn't look forward to the day when they won't have to deal with them any more? As a cloth-diapering mother, I sure did!
When I read in The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems
about a method of potty training that begins at 9 months, I decided to give it a try. Ms. Hogg recommends adding "potty time" into Junior's routine after mealtime.So I sat our son on his insert in the big potty for about 5 minutes and read him a book after each meal. At first, it did feel a little silly, but after a week or so, he began to do his business in the potty!
Now, at 10 months old, he almost never has dirty diapers. If we are out running errands or there's a lot going on with the holidays or what not, he might go in his diaper, but that is pretty rare anymore.
I expect he'll continue to have wet diapers for a while yet as those muscles tend to mature closer to 18 months, but that's OK with me. Potty training, just like walking, is a learning process. I just wanted to share our success with this step in the process to encourage other parents. While beginning later works for many parents, you don't have to wait until your child is 2 or 3 to potty train.
RESOURCES
The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems
2010-01-04
Cheerful Childrearing
When the doctor hands the baby to a brand new Mommy and Daddy, he hands them both a daunting duty and an unspeakable joy. They now must navigate the waters of sleep training, solids introduction, potty training, toddler discipline, and a million other parenting tasks.
According to Michael Pearl in The Joy of Training
, they'll need three things to accomplish their parenting task well: cheerfulness, authority, and consistency. Of those three, only one is unteachable. Young parents tend to grow in authority and consistency as their children grow, but cheerfulness is a raw ingredient.
And what an important ingredient it is! "Training without joy is tyranny" says Mr. Pearl, and, as one whose natural tendency is to focus on the training and sometimes forget the joy, I have to admit he's right. Whether in a classroom full of 8th graders or babysitting my energetic 4 year old niece or watching my own 10 month old, "children will do [almost] anything for someone who enjoys them." (The Joy of Training).
So if the day-to-day of parenting has got you down, give your baby a good tickle and study his little hands and feet and remember what a sweet gift from God he is. It'll make the day a lot more fun, and even make training easier!
RESOURCES
The Joy of Training
On Becoming Toddlerwise
According to Michael Pearl in The Joy of Training
, they'll need three things to accomplish their parenting task well: cheerfulness, authority, and consistency. Of those three, only one is unteachable. Young parents tend to grow in authority and consistency as their children grow, but cheerfulness is a raw ingredient.And what an important ingredient it is! "Training without joy is tyranny" says Mr. Pearl, and, as one whose natural tendency is to focus on the training and sometimes forget the joy, I have to admit he's right. Whether in a classroom full of 8th graders or babysitting my energetic 4 year old niece or watching my own 10 month old, "children will do [almost] anything for someone who enjoys them." (The Joy of Training
).So if the day-to-day of parenting has got you down, give your baby a good tickle and study his little hands and feet and remember what a sweet gift from God he is. It'll make the day a lot more fun, and even make training easier!
RESOURCES
The Joy of Training
On Becoming Toddlerwise
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