I'm Thankful for...

lots of family at Thanksgiving!


We started off with a Thanksgiving breakfast at our house. David and his Grandpa were chipper and happy. (Some others were still waking up...)

Then we headed over to Grandma and Grandpa Hedding's for our big feast, where Kelli let David play with her doll, Benny.

Then on Saturday, we had the Giffords over for a second Thanksgiving. It was a bustling house with two babies and two toddlers (and lots of food preperations!) but it was a lot of fun.

The Ulrich girls all had matching flower outfits. Aren't they cute? The goal was to have everybody looking, but at least Sierra and I are!

And here's grandpa doing some baby duty:

When Momma's Happy...

Ahh... everybody's happy.

As the heart of her home, Mom is the emotional center. Whether they know it or not, others in the house take their emotional cues from Mom.

There is a particularly strong emotional link between Mom and Baby. Studies have shown that babies of mothers with postpartum depression don't smile or coo as much as other babies. A calm mom is much better able to calm her baby, and a frazzled mom is likely to
stress Baby out.

I have found that I need to watch myself when big events come. Being a planner, I tend to worry about when, where, and how much our son will sleep. I worry during my sister's wedding, when a weekend away approaches, or as I plan a holiday celebration. Our son tends to pick up on my agitation and his naps are poor before the event. I have been better able to relax during the event itself and he does remarkably well with his sleep and attitude in general while things are going on.

With a baby, motherly worry seems to be a self-fufilling prophecy. Sometimes there are circumstances that make it tougher for Baby to get his naps and be cheerful, but Mom's worry only makes that worse. Social events can be a joy when we relax and enjoy them!

RESOURCES

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer
Babywise

Photo originally uploaded by 'Playingwithbrushes'
Creative Commons

Sleeping Away from Home

Depending on the kind of parent you are, Baby may be quite accustomed to taking naps away from home. I'm not much of a gad-about so this doesn't happen a lot for my son. He usually does well when we're at Grandma's or in a hotel, though. When the holidays come, Baby's naps will almost assuredly have to be a little flexible. So if he isn't used to it, here are some tips that can help.

*Darken the room: There will be lots of new things to look at so the less Baby can see them the better. At my mom's house, our son sleeps in their pitch black walk in closet and takes better naps than at home.

*White noise: You can turn on a fan, tune the radio to static, or buy a white noise machine. I have found this to be a great help when Baby needs to nap in a noisy house (ours or someone else's).

*bBlankets draped over the crib: Draping blankets from home over the sides of the crib can help Baby feel safe. It also contributes to darkness and blocks the distraction of looking around the room.

*Wind down away from people: In a crowded house, a baby can get kind of wound up with all the stimulation. Ten or 15 minutes before bedtime in a room alone with Mom can go a long way towards helping Baby wind down for sleep. I find that if I don't do this with our son, he has a hard time getting to sleep.

*Relax: Don't expect things to go perfectly for Baby. They probably won't and it's better to enjoy the holiday anyway. Naps might be shorter, interruptions are likely, and it can be hard to convince Aunt Sue that the Baby really does need a nap. Do the best you can and get back to the routine when you get home.

RESOURCES
On the Go with Baby
Babywise

Photo originally uploaded by robax
Creative Commons

Teaching Thankfulness

"Please" and "Thank You" from a child are music to Mother's ears. How can you make those melodic phrases frequent in you child's speech? By focusing on them while Baby is learning language in the first place!

Here's how we do it:

*Before each meal, we say grace. This means that our 8 month old must hold Mommy and Daddy's hands without squirming while we thank God for the food. We began around 7 months, but probably should have begun when we started solids at 5.5 months. I just didn't think of it then. The first few times we did this there were protests, but after a week of squirming, our son now willingly pauses before the meal. I doubt he fully understands, but we are training
a habit of the heart.

*When I see he wants something, I often say "Another cheerio (or whatever it is), please?" before giving it to him and "Thank you, Mommy" after. Babywise II suggests doing this because as he becomes used to hearing these phrases, he will imitate them and politeness will become second nature to him.

I love the phrase that Babywise II uses, "Train, don't retrain." The idea is to consciously encourage positive behavior rather than allowing a negative habit to develop that you'll have to work harder to counter later. Hopefully all my "please" and "thank you" will reap rewards when Junior learns to talk.

RESOURCES

BabyWise II

Swimming Up Stream

Being a good parent is a big job. There is food to put on the table, clothing to provide, intellectual development to steward, character to train, safety to guard, naps to orchestrate, potty training... the list could go on.

Being a parent is a high calling. More and more, however, parents are laboring without the support of society in the moral aspect of
their job (Bringing up Boys p 202).

Consider the television. My parents grew up with limited access to TV, but the shows that were available supported traditional family values. Father knew best. Now television watching abounds and the TV parents "just don't get it." Violence and sexuality on TV rob our children of their innocence and undermine any parental moral training they've received.

So what's a counter-cultural parent to do? Certainly the growing homeschooling movement indicates that parents are seeking to shield their children from the negative aspects of our culture. Yet we can't keep our kids away from life all together. How can we be "in the world but not of it"?

I think the answer lies in being there for our kids to explain the sin they see. We cannot completely control their world. They will see greed and anger and pride even in their own home. The important part is to explain that people sometimes make wrong choices. Thankfully, that can lead to the discussion of God's grace on those of us who admit our sin and choose to accept His forgiveness and turn from our wickedness.

RESOURCES

Bringing Up Boys
Going Public

photo

Visiting Saint Louis

David and I drove down to visit my parents a few weeks ago and got to spend some quality time with Grandma and Grandpa Gifford. Here are some pictures from their snazzy camera.

Mom and I took David to the Butterfly house down there. It was really neat. It's a greenhouse that's 85 degrees and very humid just filled with butterflies. I learned a lot and David was entranced by the butterflies.

This is right outside the butterfly habitat. David and Grandma had fun playing on the giant caterpillar and eating Cheerios.

Then he had to get a bath in their sink. He thought the soap was pretty cool until he had to get scrubbed with it :)

And then he had some quality time with Grandpa.

All in all, a good visit. If only David would nap in the car better...

Thankful for the Moment

What was the sweetest moment you had with your baby today? Mine was cuddling on the couch before nap time. We have this stuffed lamb that plays a lullaby when you wind it up and he is just fascinated with the crank. When it moves it makes music. Amazing. He sat on my lap playing with that for the longest time while I just soaked in the moment.

I have a bent for perfection: perfect meals, perfect napping schedule, perfectly clean house etc. This is not all a bad thing. Our son has a well ordered day and I know my husband appreciates the meals and clean house. But it can be a bad thing if taken to an extreme. If I'm not careful, I can spend too much time organizing, monitoring, and cooking and forget to treasure up these days in my heart.

I won't come by this way again. My son is well on his way to independence. He won't always be content to snuggle on my lap. Some day he'll be embarrassed by Mommy-kisses. Even now (he's only 8.5 months old), I look back at the pictures from when he was first born and marvel at that tiny little bundle. How he's changed!

I was reminded as I made my Thanksgiving grocery list to be thankful for the moments God has given me today. A lazy morning on my husband's day off, helping him make pancakes this morning, watching our son wake up from his nap, listening to a young father and his baby laugh. These are precious moments.

Parenting Paradigms

Most parents tend toward one end or the other of a continum that has Babywise on one end and Attachment Parenting on the other. There can be problems with either of these paradigms if taken to the extreme.

Attachment Parenting suggests that babies needs should be catered to as immediately as possible. If carried on beyond infancy, parents find that placing a child's happiness as their ultimate goal disrupts the family. It creates selfish children who are ill equipped to manage in the real world simply because it does not revolve around them. It also leaves Mommy and Daddy little time or energy for being Husband and Wife. This is not good for family harmony.

On the other end of the spectrum, strict schedulers find themselves attempting to control their child's eating and sleeping and playtime all the time. Striving for the unattainable perfect schedule stresses Mom, Dad and Baby. It also puts a lot of pressure on Junior to achieve, beginning with sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and continuing on to social and intellectual achievements throughout childhood.

As parents, we cannot control our children all the time. We can't make their happiness or success our ultimate goal. The center of the family ought to be the spousal relationship, not the parental one. Children need the security that comes from Mom and Dad's stable relationship. They also need the freedom that comes from not having all the focus on them. Childhood is a time to try lots of things and make mistakes and grow. When parents hover too much over their children, we rob them of the best things about childhood.

It's OK if Junior doesn't have exactly 45 minutes of Independent Playtime today. It's also OK if the he cries a little. "Good enough" is actually better than "Perfect."

RESOURCES

Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box

Perfection

Have you ever had a perfect day with Baby?  They are glorious, rare things.  The naps are long, playtimes are perfect, and appetites are good to the last bite.  As new mom, I have stressed about the normal imperfection in my Baby's day more than I'd really care to admit.  "He only eats two bites," "He took forever to fall asleep," or "He didn't like the walk" are just a few of the million little things that can throw off my pursuit of the perfect day.

I love Ann Dunnewold's discussion being "perfectly good" as in "those are still perfectly good shoes."  It's not just "good enough" but "perfectly good."  It doesn't feel like giving up, but doesn't smack of obsessiveness either.  I can be content with a B+ day.  And I need to be.

How to Behave, so your Children Will Too! points out that babies and young toddlers are really only capable of 60% obedience when they begin to understand obedience at all.  With training, they can improve, but rare will be the days of 100% perfection.  Kids (and parents) don't lend themselves to perfection.  They will misbehave, cry, and make mistakes.

If I can accept that parenting is hard work and won't always look perfect, I can have a much happier life and be a much more balanced mom.  I intend to continue with the hard work of instilling values in my children and giving them structure in which to thrive, but I also need to relax in the knowledge that perfection is reserved for God alone.

RESOURCES
Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box

How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!

Cooking for Baby

I love to cook! I try a new recipe every week or so. I take great joy in watching my husband enjoy a meal I've prepared. Now that our 8-month-old son is becoming a more adept eater, I am having fun trying out new baby-friendly foods too. Here are some of my favorites:

*Homemade pureed babyfood: Most any vegetable or fruit can be cooked and then either mashed with a fork or pureed in the blender. Fill up an ice cube tray with the puree and no more buying jars of baby food. I usually look up the veggies I'm planning to puree first to make sure they're OK for my baby at his age.

*No-Sugar-Added Applesauce: You don't have to buy special 'baby applesauce,' just get the kind with no sugar added and you've got a great side for the rest of the family too. I also find it helpful to mix some applesauce in with new foods so he'll eat them and get familiar with the taste. Then he enjoys them without the applesauce later.

*Oatmeal Deluxe: Our son can now handle more textured food like real cooked oatmeal rather than the baby flakes. I mix some mashed banana and plain yogurt when I cook it up, and we both have it for breakfast. Yummy!

*Spices: I was excited to discover that now at 8 months, we can start to introduce cinnamon, nutmeg, garlic, lemon zest, mint, and even curry.

*Cooked veggie pieces: Our son really enjoys the texture of pieces of cooked green bean and whole peas. They're easy to serve in pieces too. I have had issues with hands in the mouth since introducing finger foods, so I am putting the pieces in his mouth for him still.

*Cheerios: This is a great favorite with our son. I usually give him some with every meal. He's never been a big fan of baby cereal so it's a great way to get some grains in him. This is also so easy to bring along as a snack when we're on the run.

As our son grows, he'll be able to share in more of our family meals, but in the meantime, I like making fun baby food for him.

RESOURCES

Naturally Healthy First Foods for Baby

http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/

Sleep Tight

As a child, I loved being tucked into bed. Hugs, kisses, stories, singing, and then those blankets tucked next to me. It was a sweet tangible reminder of the security that came from my parents' love and care. Bedtime is now one of my favorite Mommy times with my 8 month old son. His Daddy and I sing and rock and pray and then "tuck him in" for the night.

When he was a newborn, the nurses at the hospital taught us how to swaddle him. We found that he was greatly comforted in those early weeks by being tightly wrapped. He was used to the confined quarters of the womb and it just felt natural. Sometime even when it wasn't sleepy-time, swaddling him helped to calm him. It's the most extreme example of how boundaries create security in children.

As he grew, however, he seemed more interested in getting his fingers into his mouth than being securely wrapped. We began to swaddle him under his arms when he became too adept at getting unwrapped (4-6 months). I still liked wrapping him up because it sends the message of "It's bedtime" clearly, and I love the cozy associations from my own childhood.

Then around 7 months, I was given a Halo Sleep Sack. It was a nice transition from the swaddle since he could then roll out of his blankets and during the fall and winter it's too cold for him to sleep without them. I think having a special sleep blanket (or sleep sack) still sends the "bedtime" message pretty well.

I don't think there's any reason to rush Baby to grow up and out of his swaddle, but when it's time to move on, simply let it go. The transition out of swaddling was an easy one for us. When Junior gets big enough to have sheets and blankets like a big boy, we'll see if he likes being "tucked in" as much as I did.

RESOURCES

Halo Sleep Sack
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer

Sitting Pretty .... er, Handsome

Here's our little guy practicing his new sitting-up skills some before Church. Doesn't David look cute in his new outfit from Grandma? It's a little on the big side, but he'll grow :)

Actions Speak Louder

What are your bad habits? Come on, you know you've got some. Watching movies, eating junk food, getting angry with the slow driver ahead of me, occasionally arguing with my husband, obsessively cleaning... Now that I've got a baby, all those habits are being carefully studied. Along with everything good I'm trying to teach our son, he's learning from my habits, good and bad.

I noticed it just lately -- he is fascinated by the computer and my cell phone. He is making mental notes while I chat with my mother. He's curious what I'm reading and cooking. He is developing his idea of "normal behavior" that will stick with him the rest of his life. Children learn from what we say, but so much more from what we do.

"Oh, Lord, make me better than I am!" This was our staff prayer the first year I taught at the Christian school in town. How much more I need it now! It is a divine mystery how my effort and God's grace work together to bring me to spiritual maturity, making me better than I am. My example is instructive for my son, so I pray and strive to make it an example worthy to be followed.

RESOURCES

How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!

Cheerios and Consistency

My 8 month old scientist is fascinated by Cheerios. The dexterity required to pick them up, get them to his mouth, and let them go is new and exciting. His Daddy and I think it's fun to watch him work on these new skills with his cutely wrinkled little brow.

We had been cheering him in his new endeavor for a few weeks (we started them around 7 months) when we began to notice a disturbing change in his eating behavior. He has grown increasingly interested in exploring how food feels in his mouth with his fingers, whether pureed food or finger food. What's a new parent to do?

We began by looking at things from his point of view. Sometimes we cheer him for getting his hands (and the accompanying Cheerio) in his mouth and other times we look displeased and pull it out with a "hands out!". Why is that behavior sometimes OK and sometimes not? He hasn't seemed to figure that out yet.

So, cute as it is to watch him work on getting that Cheerio into his mouth, we've revoked the privilege. We're working on consistently reinforcing the "hands out" during feeding rule. When we think he can understand the concept of "hands out" when being fed, but not when feeding himself, we'll try again with Cheerios.

After just one meal of no Cheerios and lots of focus on the hands ("hands out" whenever they went in and "good job" for every bite they stayed out), he is doing much better. This is a simple discipline case, but thankfully a baby's world begins simply. If we lay a consistent foundation of rules and obedience now, it will make for easier toddler months and teenage years down the road.

RESOURCES

BabyWise II
How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!

Play for the Older Baby (7-9 mo)

As a newborn, our son slept a LOT.  When he was awake, he was content to study the ceiling fan and easily overstimulated.  By 7 months, however, an active and alert baby had revealed himself.  He can stay awake longer, eats solid food, and is mobile (somewhat).

What's a Momma to do with these longer playtimes?  Baby Talk has some great suggestions for play that helps stimulate language development and doesn't require fancy toys:

*Beginning Hide-And-Seek: Put a towel over baby's head and say "Where's Baby?" Then pull it off with "There he is!"  Then put the towel over your head and say "Where'd Momma go?"  See if he'll pull the towel off you.  This is a great version of peek-a-boo.  As Baby gains more physical control, he'll enjoy more action in the game.

*Copy Cat: Games like "Patty Cake" have been around a long time because they delight babies this age.  Start by singing the "Patty Cake" song and doing the motions yourself.  Then help Baby imitate them. Try again doing the motions yourself and see if he can follow along.

*Name Calling:  While Junior is playing by himself, call his name and smile when he looks at you.  Then move behind him and try again.  This helps reinforce what his name is.  Also, refer to yourself or Daddy or siblings with their names when possible rather than "I", "he" or "they."  Baby can't understand pronouns yet, but he can learn names.

*Block Banging:  Baby is just learning how to hold one toy in each hand.  Try banging two blocks together saying "boom boom" to show him how.  Then give him two blocks to pick up.  See if he can get one in each hand to imitate.  My son still drops one toy to pick up another, but he enjoys banging our wood floor (even with just a hand) to hear the noise it makes.

*Foot Up: Encourage Baby to help while you're dressing him by saying "foot up" before putting on socks.  If he doesn't respond on his own, do it for him.  Before long, he'll know how to help.

*I'm Gonna Get Your __________:  This is a great way to get Baby to learn his body parts.  Pick two or three and say "I'm gonna get your toes!" before tickling them.  If you stick with just a few parts at a time, you're reinforcing those more often so he's more likely to understand.

It's amazing how quickly he's growing and developing.  Even now, his babbling begins to sound like his native tongue.  A Chinese baby's babbles will sound Chinese and an American baby's babbles will sound like English.  Before long, he'll be speaking in real words!  What fun to help him get there!

RESOURCES
Baby Talk

Co-Workers

Every new mom needs co-workers.  Sharing the journey of motherhood helps me do it better and more joyfully.  When I transitioned from being a working wife to a homemaking momma, it took some time to find a network of co-workers, but it has come.  Here are my favorite types of friends for the new mommy... and where I found them:

*Other new mommies - There were two other pregnant ladies at the school where I worked while I was pregnant.  Our babies are all close in age and I love to compare notes with them.  Parenting is new to all of us so when we find something that works well for getting Baby to sleep or eat his veggies we can share the joy of discovery.

*One-step-ahead mommies - My sister has a baby, a toddler, and a preschooler.  Visiting with her and her sweet girls is a great way to get some hands-on job training.  My baby is headed for toddler-hood fast, and it's good for me to see how she handles her toddler... and how she manages three kids.  I can hear about her triumphs and mistakes and learn.  My son loves to watch and learn from his cousins too.  Another place I've found one-step-ahead mommies is the Mom's group at our church.  There are similar groups in most areas.

*Grandmas - My mom has been a lot further down the path of parenting.  So has my husband's mom.  They are great resources.  I can get caught up in "the way everybody does things" and forget that people have been having and raising babies for centuries.  The perspective that time grants can be useful to hear.  Our son's grandmas have had time to reflect on their mothering and can help me realize that the problem I'm dealing with today isn't as big as it might seem to me.  They remind me that "this too shall pass" ... and I'll miss it!

*One-step-behind mommies - I've only been a mommy for 8 months, but I like to think I've learned a few things.  It's nice when I get the chance to hold a littler-than-my-little-one and say "We had that struggle too.  What worked for us was ....".  We have a few couple friends who have had babies more recently than us and it is wonderful to return the favor of all the meals and gifts and doting we received when our son was born.

Some days it can feel like you're "in it alone" being home with Baby, but fellow laborers may be closer than you think.  When our son is napping and I've gotten the house clean already, one of my little luxuries is to pick up the phone and call one of my mommy co-workers for a chat.

RESOURCES
In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms

You Are the Center of the Universe

You are.  Really.  You're the center of the Universe.  A mother is the very heart of her home.  What a privilege to be the wife and mother who sets the tone.  We are the ones who know where everything is; we decide when and what will be served at dinner. We are the social secretary, the discipline enforcer, the chief comforter, and so much more.

It is a sweet privilege, and also a great responsibility.  Who my children become and even who my husband becomes depends in great portion on me.  When I have confidence and patience and love for my son, he is secure, obedient and able to learn unhindered.  When I have encouragement, love, and respect for my husband, he is confident, productive, and loving.

But where do I get the strength to fill up my husband and son with love and confidence and other good things? Three things help me find this strength:

(1) Prayer and Devotional Bible Reading:  I don't do this at the same time everyday, but I make time to do it every day.  I love to lay on my bed with the Bible in front of me looking out the window and talking with God.  I ask Him to help me be who He made me to be.  God designed the family and only He can give me wisdom for parenting, motivation for cleaning, and love through it all.

(2) Naps:  I love to sleep.  I've always needed a lot of sleep, but my husband doesn't.  That can make it tough to get everything I need at night.  In the afternoon, while my baby is napping, I often do too.  I plan to keep doing that as he grows.  I think all preschool age kids benefit from "rest time" in the afternoon for an hour, even if they don't need to nap.

(3) Memory Making: Being a Mommy is such a great job!  Treasuring sweet moments with my husband and baby gives me more strength and motivation to do the job well.  I like to make a point of remembering my son's sweet face when he smiles and coos with me in the morning or the look of love in my husband's eyes.  When I stop and make a point of remembering the sweet things, those memories are there to call upon when the baby's crying or my husband and I can't seem to agree.

When Mommy sets the tone of the home, it's so important to get the rest and devotional time and memory-making you need.  Take a break this afternoon!

RESOURCES

In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms

Sitting

David likes to sit and play with his toys. Because he still tends to fall over, his protective dad sits right behind him to catch him if he falls.

Here he is sitting and flopping his hands around. He's very excited.

Here he is reaching for his toy. Pretty soon he will be crawling...

Keeping Marriage First

A strong and loving marriage is the foundation of a strong and loving family.  Yet, each little bundle of joy that arrives brings more busyness which can tend to pull Mom and Dad in opposite directions.  While we love our son, my husband and I know that we must protect our love for each other as well.  Here are three things we do to put our marriage first:

1.  Date Night - My in-laws are wonderful!  They come over every Thursday evening to watch our son while my husband and I go out.  Every other week we go to Bible Study together.  This gives us some interesting fodder for conversation and helps us maintain our identity apart from being a Mom and Dad.  On the off weeks, we go out on a date.  It's nice to go someplace without having to worry about the car seat and stroller and upcoming nap time.  We can enjoy each other and be carefree.

2.  Couch Time - When my husband comes home from work, he gives me 10 or 15 minutes with him.  This is time when Junior plays on the floor and we sit on the couch reconnecting about our day.  Our son knows he can have some special "Daddy time" afterwards.  It's a good visual reminder for us all that the marriage comes first.

3.  Praying Together - After our son is in bed and everything is taken care of for the day, before we go to sleep, my husband and I set aside a half hour to talk and pray together.  It is a sweet way to end the day.  We have found that it takes discipline to set the time when the "day" ends so that we can have that time together without getting to bed too late.

When children come along, it can be tempting to surrender to the "tyranny of the urgent" and forget what's most important.  My husband doesn't usually cry for my attention, but he needs it.  I need our time together too.  Even our son needs us to have it.  The home is a more joyful and peaceful place when we take the time to remind ourselves how sweet it all is.

RESOURCES
Moms Needs, Dads Needs
Babywise

Overtired or Undertired?

As mothers, we become scientists of our babies' sleep needs.  If a nap didn't go well, we want to know why.  Two common answers to why a nap doesn't happen are (1) putting Baby down too soon and (2) putting Baby down too late.  How can we tell the difference?  Here are some signs I've discovered of over-tiredness and under-tiredness:


Over-Tired Signs:
*Baby was yawning or rubbing his face earlier and no longer is.
*He doesn't seem to be happy no matter what you do.
*He seems overly energetic, almost frantic.
*He cries when you begin your wind down routine.
*When you put him down for a nap he cries hard almost like he's in pain.
*He suddenly falls asleep after his cries crescendo to a hard cry.
*Baby needs a car ride or the sound of the dryer to fall asleep.
*He only sleeps 30-45 minutes before waking.
*This is most common with young babies because they need a lot of sleep.


How to keep it from happening:
*Cut back on wake-time by 15 minute increments until naps lengthen and come with less tears.
*Put young babies (up to 4 months old) down at the first yawn.
*Use the "shush-pat" to help a young baby forget everything else and fall asleep.
*Make wake-time less stimulating.  It really doesn't take much to entertain a baby.


Under-Tired Signs:
*Baby seems fidgety while you do the wind down routine.
*When you lay him in the crib, he plays rather than falling asleep.
*Playing more than 30 minutes before falling asleep.
*Short nap or no nap.
*This is more common with older babies whose sleep needs are diminishing.


How to keep it from happening:
*Experiment with giving more wake-time (sometimes 10 minutes is all it takes).
*If Baby doesn't calm during the wind down, let him play a little more.
*After he's been playing in the crib for 30 minutes, go in and tell him rather firmly to go to sleep or repeat a shortened version of the wind down routine.
*If he's been playing more than 30 minutes, move him to a swing to fall asleep more easily as he may now be too tired to fall asleep on his own.


Giving Baby the sleep he needs can be difficult sometimes.  During developmental leaps, when they're sick (or after shots), or after a particularly stimulating wake-time it can be harder to come by sleep.  Patience and study on Mom's part can help.


RESOURCES
Babywise
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer

Flexibility

Babies thrive on routine.  Predictible times for naps and meals and play give a safe framework for learning and growing.  Yet, the schedule cannot rule the day.  It is there to serve the family.  Sometimes the family is better served by bendng the schedule a little.

Young babies (up until 3 or 4 months) are pretty well able to sleep while Mom is out running errands or Aunt Sue doing some holding.  The older they get, however, the less likely babies are to sleep in the middle of activity.  Thankfully older babies tend to be awake longer and better able to handle a late nap.  Flexing Baby's schedule looks different at 2 months than it does at 8 months.

At two months, my son was still very sleepy most of the time.  When I took him to the grocery store, he often fell asleep in his car seat.  Then when we got home, I would bring his seat in the house and let him finish his nap in it.  If he woke, I'd move him to the crib and he was able to get back to sleep and finish his nap.  That didn't even throw off the schedule. 

Visits from family or friends who didn't understand why he was ready for another nap so soon did cause a problem, though.  Sometimes it was worth it to keep him up a little longer to let Aunt Sue get in her holding time, but sometimes it wasn't.  Now (at 8 months), he is much more able to handle a late nap.

It's wise to know your own child's "point of no return."  A baby can be stretched a certain amount before breaking down.  For our son, that breakdown often came after we got home from a too stimulating or too long outing.  He would be an angel even as he was growing over-tired and over-stimulated.  When we got home however, he would scream and cry and have a terrible time falling asleep.  Other babies will have a meltdown in the midst of the outing.

One of the things I love about being Mommy is that I have learned to "read" my son.  He sends out little warning wimpers or turns his head away before beginning to really cry.  If I heed those warnings I can get him down for his nap in time... but I don't have to jump at the first hint of sleepiness either.

Another kind of flexibility comes in teaching Baby to sleep in places besides his crib.  I love that my son can sleep at his aunt or grandma's house just as well as at home.  We have always taken him to Grandma's house after church on Sunday and he naps in her crib there.  Since that's a regular, weekly event, he's also done well on periodic trips when he sleeps in his portable crib.

While flexibility is a noble goal, it's also wise to keep to the routine enough that it's "normal" and those times when you deviate from it are relatively rare.  It is important not to let life revolve around the baby's napping schedule, but it's also good to give him consistency.  As with so many things, balance is the key.

RESOURCES
On the Go with Baby
Babywise

What's in a Name?

One of the most significant things we parents give our children is a name.  I'm not just talking about deciding whether to call the new little bundle Alex or Aaron, but about discerning who he is and communicating that to him.  This concept of "naming" sounds new to our modern ears, but it's been around for a while.  In the Bible we see God changing the names of his servants (Abram to Abraham, Saul to Paul, Simon to Peter etc.) to reflect their calling.  Ever since Adam (the first man) was assigned to name the animals, humans have been reflecting God's nature by naming.

Whenever a teacher or parent tells a child, "You know, you're really good at ______" or "You have a gift for _______," they are naming the child.  I remember a Mathematics professor in college telling me about the gift he saw in me with Math.  A high school Spanish teacher likewise pointed out how easily the language came to me.  I grew up to become a Math and Spanish teacher.  Those two helped name me.

As parents we are called to name our children in more varied and significant ways than just helping them pick a vocation.  The Bible admonishes us to "train up a child in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6; emphasis added).  Dr. Allender suggests in How Children Raise Parents that naming a child is seeking out his natural bent.  What separates him from others?  What are his strengths and weaknesses?  What call of God do you sense on his life?

As we discover our child's name, we are then able to "train him up" in accordance with who he is.  We can give him opportunities to overcome weaknesses and grow in areas of strength.  We can inspire him by letting him know the gifts and callings we see in his life.  What a joy to help him grow into a man who knows his purpose.

RESOURCES
How Children Raise Parents
The Bible

Organizing a Mind

Babies are like sponges.  They're always soaking up information.  While they're young is the best time to teach many new skills because learning comes so easily at that age.  Right?  We've all heard those statements followed by advertisements for music class or flash-cards or foreign language lessons.

Toddlerwise warns us that "Helping to stimulate an efficient knowledge processing system during the critical 14-40 month period is a 'must-attain' goal for toddler parenting" (p. 30).  Children must first gain a framework into which new information can be placed, and then they will be ready to assimilate facts and figures.  Toddlerhood is when the mind becomes organized, childhood is when it is ready to be filled with data, and in the teen years that data will be critically analyzed (So You're Thinking About Homeschooling).

So how can we help our little ones develop an organized mind?  The Toddlerwise strategy rejects two popular quick-fix parenting styles: (1) too much passive input (TV or videos) and (2) too much freedom.  They propose an alternative which will give Junior lots of opportunities to learn in an organized way and allow Mom to have days free from chaos: a daily routine.

A toddler's daily routine may include the following events, all "scheduled" at predictable times in the day:

*Room-time or Blanket-time - This is time that Junior spends playing on his own in a specific area for a set amount of time.  

*Free Playtime - This is when Junior picks the activity from some choices and then sticks with that activity for a set amount of time.  He doesn't need the freedom to jump from activity to activity all day long at his own whims.

*Structured Playtime - This is when Mom picks the activity for a set amount of time.  

*Playtime with Mommy and Daddy - It's nice if each child has a special time alone with you each day, even if it's only 15 or 20 minutes.  Scheduling other children's days allows this freedom.

*Nap time - Toddlers usually need a morning nap until about 18 months and an afternoon nap until 3-4 years of age.

*Playtime with friends - Story time at the library or a play date is a great way to get in some social time with kids his own age.

Some parents will naturally be more structured and others slightly more relaxed, but the basic predictable pattern is a great help to both kinds of parents.  Without scheduling your child's day, chaos will tend to reign, and this is not good for Junior's learning or Mom's sanity.  An organized day with a toddler can be a thing to relish.

RESOURCES

Toddlerwise
So You're Thinking About Homeschooling